General Ramblings, Uncategorized

Recognizing clarity after years of doubt

No one tells you the fog doesn’t lift all at once.

There’s no trumpet. No voiceover. No dramatic aha moment where everything suddenly makes sense and a choir starts singing in the background. If anything, you almost miss it. You just realize you’re not squinting anymore.

For months—sometimes years—you tell yourself you’re “thinking things through.” You’re being responsible, patient, and careful. In reality, you’re just walking around in mental mist, bumping into the same questions over and over like furniture you forgot was there on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Then one day, usually at an inconvenient hour, it clears. Not because you solved everything—but because you stopped fighting what you already knew. The noise quiets, and your shoulders relax. The constant low-grade anxiety that’s been tagging along like a bad intern suddenly clocks out without notice.

That’s clarity, and it doesn’t feel exciting. It feels… relieving. Like realizing you’ve been clenching your jaw for years without even knowing it.

As someone who’s juggled relationships, fatherhood, and running a business, I can tell you this: real clarity doesn’t ask you to explain yourself to everyone. It just asks you to move forward and stop pretending you’re still unsure.

When the fog lifts, you don’t feel smarter. You feel lighter. You stop replaying conversations. You stop rewriting history. You stop asking, “What if?” and start asking, “What’s next?” And here’s the part no one warns you about—the fog lifting doesn’t mean the road is easy. It just means you can finally see it. That’s enough. Because once you can see clearly, even a difficult path feels better than standing still, even though you know the haze will somehow do the walking for you.

Clarity doesn’t arrive loudly. It shows up quietly, taps you on the shoulder, and says, “You’re allowed to move now.” And when it does, you don’t celebrate, you exhale.

Then you take the step you should’ve taken a long time ago—with both feet this time.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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Uncategorized

What Courage Looks Like at 2 A.M.

Quiet decisions no one applauds

Courage doesn’t usually show up when people are watching.

It shows up at 2 a.m. When the house is quiet. When the emails are closed. When your kids are asleep, and you’re the only one awake with your thoughts.

At 2 a.m., courage isn’t dramatic. It doesn’t kick down doors or deliver motivational speeches. It sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the ceiling, doing math no one else will ever see.

This is where courage lives if you’re a single father. It’s choosing to be the calm one tomorrow, even though you’re exhausted tonight. It’s deciding not to send the text you really want to send. It’s planning how to pay for braces, school, and groceries while pretending to yourself that everything’s “fine.”

No applause. Just responsibility.

As a business owner, 2 a.m. courage looks a lot like spreadsheets and restraint. It’s deciding not to cut corners even when it would make things easier. It’s choosing reputation over short-term relief. It’s saying no to the fast win because you know you’ll pay for it later.

Nobody claps for that either.

And then there’s courage as a son. This one sneaks up on you. It’s realizing your parents are aging. It’s replaying old conversations and wishing you’d said some things differently. It’s deciding to show up better now, while you still can. Not perfectly—just honestly.

At 2 a.m., courage isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about choosing the next right thing and trusting that it adds up. It’s choosing patience over panic, consistency over drama, and integrity over convenience. It’s understanding that the strongest decisions you’ll ever make won’t be announced. They won’t trend. They won’t get validated by anyone but your own conscience.

And yet—they shape everything.

The kids feel it, even if they never hear about it. The business reflects it, even if no one knows the backstory, and your life carries it forward, quietly, one steady choice at a time.

So if you ever wonder whether you’re being brave enough, ask yourself what you’re choosing at 2 a.m. If you’re choosing to show up tomorrow with steadiness, honesty, and a little faith—then you’re doing the hard work. No spotlight required!

That’s what courage actually looks like.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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Letters to my sons, Not So Private Thoughts, Parenting, Uncategorized

To my Son – When It Matters, Don’t Stand Still

Son, I want to make something clear, since this is often misunderstood.

Faith isn’t about being passive. It’s about believing in things you can’t see. Patience doesn’t mean standing still. It means getting ready.

Believing something is meant to be doesn’t mean you just wait for life to happen. It means you keep moving forward with purpose, even if you can’t see exactly how things will work out.

This is true in both love and business.

If you feel drawn to someone in a way that stays steady over time, you don’t ignore it out of fear. You show up. You speak honestly. You take the risk of being known—respectfully, thoughtfully, and with courage. Waiting decades doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means choosing them again and again through your actions, even when timing isn’t aligned yet.

The same goes for business. Opportunities don’t come to those who hesitate. They come to those who prepare and take action. You don’t get clarity or perfection before you start; you find it by stepping in, making the call, starting the project, and committing to a path while adjusting along the way.

This is the balance I want you to see:
You can be both patient and decisive.
You can trust God and still take action. So don’t mistake faith for doing nothing.
You can wait for what’s meant for you.

If something is truly ordained, your steps toward it won’t feel frantic—they’ll feel steady. Not rushed. Not reckless. Purposeful. Peaceful.

Both love and business opportunity take courage. Not the dramatic kind, but steady, disciplined courage. The kind that quietly shows up and keeps moving forward.

Take the step with integrity. Make the call. Speak the truth. Build what you set out to build. Build what is ordained.

God opens doors, but you still have to walk through them.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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Parenting

The Shocking Moment That Made Me Question Everything

Well, it’s happened. My baby boy—the same kid who used to think money grew on trees and that ‘work’ meant picking up his clothes from the floor—is now officially job hunting.

At 14, he’s decided it’s time to ‘become an earner’ (his words, not mine), so he can start saving… and, let’s be honest, spending. Nothing screams financial wisdom like a teenager with a first paycheck and a world full of sneakers (they must be white), gaming accessories, and Polo by Ralph Lauren.

On one hand, I’m bursting with pride. My son is eager, responsible, and ready to take on the world—one part-time shift at a time. On the other hand… HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SO FAST?! Just yesterday, I was bribing him with ice cream to eat his vegetables, and now he’s filling out applications like a full-fledged adult (except with significantly worse handwriting).

I know this is just the beginning. Soon, he’ll have his own money, his own sense of independence, and—gulp—the realization that taxes are a thing. But for now, I’ll just be over here, trying to hold it together as my kid takes his first real step into the working world.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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Social Commentary

Trump & USA vs. Canada Hockey Showdown

As the USA and Canada gear up for the 4 Nations Face-Off championship, the ice is heating up—both from the players’ skates and the political jabs exchanged off the rink. With recent tensions, including President Trump’s playful suggestion of making Canada the 51st state and the ensuing tariff tussles, this isn’t just a game; it’s a face-off of national pride.

USA Hockey GM Bill Guerin has extended a warm invitation to President Trump, stating, “We would love it if President Trump was in attendance.” Imagine the energy boost for Team USA, knowing their Commander-in-Chief is cheering them on from the stands.

Plus, with Canadian fans recently booing “The Star-Spangled Banner,” what better way to counter than having President Trump lead our anthem with gusto? It’s the perfect opportunity to show unity, strength, and perhaps even share a friendly wink with our northern neighbors.

So, Mr. President, dust off that jersey, grab a foam finger, and let’s drop the puck!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Parenting, Social Commentary

The Non-Accidental Family

IVF: Because Some of Us Weren’t Blessed with an Accidental Family

For some lucky folks, starting a family is as simple as a romantic evening, a bottle of wine, and a little bad timing. For the rest of us? Well, let’s just say that biology didn’t get the memo. Enter IVF—the modern miracle for those of us who can’t seem to reproduce the old-fashioned way, despite really, really trying. As fun as that may be!

Now, some might say, “If it doesn’t happen naturally, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” To which we say: By that logic, glasses, antibiotics, and WiFi weren’t meant to be either—but here we are, seeing clearly, curing diseases, and binge-watching Netflix. Science is a beautiful thing, and IVF is just another example of humanity refusing to take “no” for an answer.

Trump Signs Executive Order Expanding Access to IVF – Want to read more about it? Google it!

Go forth and propagate!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Social Commentary

Why is the ICC ignoring genocide in South Africa?

I am profoundly heartbroken and alarmed by the brutal violence escalating in South Africa, where countless innocent white citizens, particularly Afrikaner farmers, are being subjected to unimaginable torture and murder. These are families, fathers, mothers, and children who deserve to keep their land and the right to live without fear.

For too long, the world has turned a blind eye to their suffering. However, President Trump stepped forward when the world remained silent, recognizing their plight and offering a lifeline through refugee status. He took it one step further by refusing any aid to South Africa while the government stands by and, in some cases, orchestrates the genocide. His willingness to acknowledge this crisis gives hope to those who felt abandoned.

I plead for awareness, for justice, and for the world to open its eyes to the horrors these people endure daily.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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Parenting, Private

Sixteen Years of Ghosts

This week, my son should be turning sixteen. I should be watching him stand in the doorway, tall as his dreams, his shoulders carrying the weight of years he never got to hold. I should know the sound of his voice—a deep, steady river of a thing, shaped by time, by life, by moments that never were. I picture his hands—strong, gentle—gripping a steering wheel, spinning a basketball, holding onto a world that I will never get to know through him. Would he love music? Would he write? Would his laughter split the air, cracking open the sky the way joy is supposed to?
I find myself reaching for him in the quiet spaces, in the shadow of his name unspoken. Sixteen candles should flicker this week, melting wax into memories made. But the cake remains uncut, the song unsung, and time bends in on itself like a cruel trick. Because he never grew into the man I see in my mind. He never took a breath past eighteen months. And for sixteen years, I have carried the weight of someone who never became—loving the ghost of a boy who is forever just beyond my reach.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Parenting, Social Commentary

The case against having children

Parenting and kids are increasingly portrayed by society as liabilities rather than assets. A change in the way our nation views family life is reflected in the emerging narrative that has been highlighted in recent articles. For example, the Surgeon General’s caution that parenting is bad for mental health implies that being a parent is a solitary and possibly dangerous task. This perspective reduces having children to a simple cause of stress and loneliness, ignoring the deep joy and fulfillment they bring into our lives.

Furthermore, it’s becoming increasingly common to have conversations about being “child-free” or unsure about having children. The papers note that a growing number of young Americans are debating whether to have parents due to concerns about money and the high standards set for modern parents. Compared to previous generations, when having children was viewed as a normal and fulfilling aspect of life, this is a significant shift.

American families’ future. Are we allowing the inherent worth of parenthood to be eclipsed by societal demands and growing costs? It’s imperative for parents to counter this unfavorable narrative. Children are a source of love, hope, and continuity—not problems. Parenting presents certain challenges, but the benefits of raising the next generation significantly exceed them.

References:
Parenting Is Hazardous to Your Health, the Surgeon General Warns – The nation’s doctor says parents are lonely. Maybe it’s really the powerlessness of parenthood that’s gotten us down.
https://www.wsj.com/tech/surgeon-general-warning-parenting-mental-health-53f75c63

How Americans Are Thinking About Children – From the ‘child-free’ to the ‘maybe someday’ parents.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-americans-are-thinking-about-children-fa8fff60?mod=opinion_feat4_letterstoeditors_pos3

Why Americans Aren’t Having Babies – The costs and rising expectations of parenthood are making young people think hard about having any children at all.
https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/americans-babies-childless-birthrate-daf438f9?mod=article_inline

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Social Commentary

Why Denial Is Killing Progress

It’s essential to have constructive discussions on how to address challenges or areas needing improvement. But let’s start by acknowledging what has transpired.

We live in a dynamic world with constant shifts and changes. Examining the facts and data isn’t contentious; it’s a prerequisite for meaningful dialogue. Only by grasping and embracing our current reality can we move forward constructively.

Movements that choose to deny reality do so because they lack a viable alternative and resort to stalling tactics. However, standing still is not a real option; it only delays progress.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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