Monthly Archives: September 2022

General Ramblings

Hard-won in the rain

I’m on vacation and it’s raining.

“If it were cooler outside, I’d be happier.” That’s not much different from, “If my kids would simply listen to me, I wouldn’t be upset.”

Some situations are unfair, and we should work to solve them or walk away. However, we don’t have to link these external forces to the way we talk to ourselves.

“As it turns out, the stories we tell ourselves are important, extremely important.
In one of his Daily Stoic emails (from Sept. 8, 2021), Ryan Holiday emphasized just how important these stories are. They determine what we’re capable of being and who we are. These stories craft and create our character, our outlook on life. They determine if we are content or unhappy. They determine if we are persistent and successful or if we are lazy and a failure. They are powerful enough to change ourselves and, in some cases, to change the world.”
Gregg Borodaty – “Stories we tell ourselves.”

Simply put – The story we tell ourselves belongs to us and only us. It’s my truth, and it belongs to me.
Rosamund Zander teaches us to avoid, “I’m on vacation but it’s raining.” It’s far more powerful and useful to think, “I’m on vacation and it’s raining… what should I do with this moment?”

The bottom line is that it’s a hard-won privilege to be in control of our peace of mind.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

Standard
Parenting

Boys to men

My top 15 – What I’m trying to teach my sons. Not in order.

To respect all humans.

To be chivalrous. Open doors and buy flowers.

To cook on a stove, in an oven, and grill. Not the microwave.

To make the bed every morning.

To sell. Life is all about selling, from job interviews to dating.

To control anger. Staying calm is a sign of confidence.

How to figure it out. Things don’t always go according to plan.

To smile.

To change a tire.

To pray.

To read financial statements.

To be kind. Nothing beats kindness.

To master Dale Carnegie.

To effectively communicate. The greatest misconception about communication is that it has been had. (Courtesy of my friend Eddy Tillman)

Enjoying meals with family and friends.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

Standard
Private

September 17, 2010

Part of me doesn’t want to write this because I suspect you don’t want honesty. You probably want to hear that I’ve moved on and accepted his death in whatever context acceptance means for you.

No one wants to hear how hard this is. The circumstances and questions surrounding his death and the endlessness of missing him.
It’s been 4384 days, and I’m pretty sure you think that I should be over it by now. But the truth is, I am at the beginning of what will be a lifelong affliction – missing him forever.
4384 days! That’s 4384 “papa, I’m not sleepy” bedtimes and 8768 good morning kisses, because there were always more than one.

I know that most of you can’t imagine this loss because you keep saying, “I can’t imagine.” I keep thinking, “You won’t imagine. You shouldn’t imagine. But maybe, you can imagine my pain, and that’s why you need me to be ok.”
Anyway, it doesn’t matter what you’re capable of imagining. If you look at me and genuinely know me, you don’t have to imagine that nightmares are real. I’m living proof.

My version of acceptance involves carrying my pain – and Aaron’s memory – forward into a much darker existence than you can imagine.

There is a light here – the kind that doesn’t create a shadow. It’s not more than starlight or the slenderest of crescent moons. It’s not much, but it’s enough to fight off the shadow of my grief with the persistent glow of hope.

I want to be clear that I’m not angry at anyone. God, the universe but certainly not you. Your support is undeniable and unwavering; without you, I probably wouldn’t be here.

But I am angry. Sometimes.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

Standard
Not So Private Thoughts

Dark matter

Figure out what’s important, then create the conditions for people to talk about it. Sound like a good idea, right? Let’s get started.

A friend I love, and respect said, “I should continue with therapy or some other therapeutic medium.” She said it without malice or ill-intent, but I instinctively took it that way. That got me thinking – why?

People with mental illness and poor moral character get a lot of attention and then, in many cases, shift blame for their shitty behaviors. That’s what people think of when they hear or say the word “therapy.” But there is another side. It’s boring and garners little attention.

It’s people that you’d never expect who struggle with the dark matter. People with good moral character, a job, loyal friends, and seemingly successful in life. It’s them that no one talks about.

It’s human nature to want to be considered normal. Humans will always disapprove of people who do not behave “normally.” It’s that attitude that perpetuates the stigma surrounding mental health. Ironically being a human means being imperfect – and that is normal.

My friend did suggest that I “build on my inner peace,” but not as I took it – suffering from an affliction. Rather do yoga, shoot some zombies at the range or get back into triathlons. She wished me good mental health, which I think is more meaningful and illustrates more caring than wishing me good physical health.

P.S. I signed up for a triathlon today!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

Standard