Monthly Archives: April 2023

General Ramblings

Raising cannonball’ers

The side effects of early morning swims, dolphin noises, a newfound love for the scent of chlorine, and a sudden urge to cannonball.

Now comes the moment of truth. You’ve gathered your courage, made sure your brother isn’t chicken and adjusted your swimsuit for maximum “snugness.” (No one wants to be mooned so early in the morning.) All that’s left is to jump off the side and cannonball into the water. Don’t worry about style or technique. Just throw your body into the air and pray for the biggest splash possible. Bonus points if you can create a tidal wave of epic proportions and garner the scowls of those that you just soaked.

Cannonballing brothers is the ultimate test of friendship and bathing suit integrity. With the right swimsuit, some peer pressure, and a willingness to look ridiculous, you too, can achieve cannonball glory. So what are you waiting for Papa? Your turn!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Social Commentary

Rock-Free Zones

In response to the recent spree of rock-related deaths.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/04/21/colorado-woman-killed-rock-thrown-windshield/11711507002/

Coming Soon to a City Near You: “Rock-Free Zones” for the Safety-Conscious. Rock-throwing deaths spark new fear.

Are you tired of living in fear of being hit by a rogue rock while walking down the street? Well, fear no more! The city is introducing “Rock-Free Zones” to keep the safety-conscious at ease. This new initiative comes after a series of rock-throwing deaths around the country.

Air guitaring and shredding are under scrutiny!

Air guitaring and shredding have long been popular among rock fans, but they may soon come under government scrutiny. Officials are concerned that these activities could lead to accidental rock throwing and want to ensure that people do them safely. Don’t worry; the city is developing safe “Rock-Free Zones” where air guitaring and shredding won’t pose a threat. In conclusion, prepare to rock out in safer locations. “Rock-Free Zones” are coming to a city near you, so you can walk the streets without fear of falling victim to accidental rock throwing. And with a little bit of practice, you can rock out responsibly!

For the record. I support the banning of rocks. They are not protected under the Constitution and should be outlawed. A crime that goes back to biblical times and has been the demise of countless victims. Government should act to stop the proliferation of crime.

Furthermore, I do not support rock or any violence of any type. Nor am I making light of any of the deaths caused by the criminals who utilized rocks or other weapons of war (see David and Goliath) for their unintended uses.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Social Commentary

The Emotional Toll Of Not Passing The Salt.

Remember those good old potluck dinners where people came together to share their signature dishes? Those days seem to be long gone. Now, it’s all about a frantic race to the convenience store for some potato chips and boxed wine and then retreating back to your lonely Fortnite world. It’s a sorry state of affairs when the high point of your week is a solo pizza night with your favorite delivery guy.

It’s almost as if we’re witnessing the digital dinner’s hostile takeover, and that spells doom for us all. Why bother cooking a meal and engaging in meaningful conversation when you can just order takeout, eat it alone, and scroll through Instagram instead? Because, you know, why bother with human connection when you have a bottomless well of cat videos and memes at your disposal?

Sitting down to eat with your family used to be a sacred ritual. But now, with convenience taking center stage, family dinners are quickly becoming relics of the past. And honestly, who has the time to chat with loved ones when they have a bunch of Snapchat streaks to maintain?

The demise of the family dinner is a tragedy of epic proportions. So, I challenge you (and your kids) to put down your phone, turn off the TV, and gather around the table with your loved ones. Who knows? You might actually enjoy their company. And if not, at least you’ll have someone to pass the salt to.

Unplug and enjoy dinner with your kids and your family. It’s what life is all about.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

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General Ramblings

The Madness of Marathoners: Confessions of a Lunatic Runner (Demons and the Trots!)

Ah, running. It’s like a torture session with your own mind, except you get to wear fancy shoes and sweat a lot. And let’s not forget that delightful voice inside your head that won’t shut up. “You’re too slow,” it says. “You’re too lazy.” Geez, thanks, brain.

But we runners are a special breed. We keep going, even when our inner voice is telling us we’re insane (which, let’s be honest, we kind of are). Is it the endorphins that keep us going? The sense of accomplishment? Or maybe we’re all just gluttons for punishment.

Being a runner is like playing a mental game of whack-a-mole. Every time you conquer one doubt or fear, another pops up to take its place. But as crazy as it sounds, those inner demons have actually make us better runners. We use them as motivation to prove ourselves wrong and push through the pain.

And let’s remember the nutritional nightmares. Eating too much before a run feels like a food baby is trying to escape your stomach, while not eating enough turns you into a wheezing mess. And don’t even get me started on “runner’s trots.” Let’s just say that mid-run bathroom emergencies are a real crapshoot.

But despite all the mental, physical, and digestive challenges, we keep running. It could be the thrill of breaking a personal record or the satisfaction of running with a group of friends (or it’s just the chance to show off our fancy shoes), or the sanctuary of running alone. Whatever it is, we’ll keep running, no matter how crazy it makes us. Let’s raise our water bottle to the madness, the sweat, the tears, and the countless miles. May we never lose our love for the run (or our sense of humor about all the toilet humor).

By Shaun Sima
Lunatic Runner
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

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Not So Private Thoughts

Holy Week: More than Just an Excuse to Eat Fish on Fridays

Holy cow, it’s that time of year again! Lent is upon us, folks, which means it’s time to give up something we love. But let’s be real, who actually gives up something easy like chocolate or alcohol anymore? It’s time to step up our game and give up something genuinely challenging, like social media. I mean, have you ever tried to go a day without scrolling through your feed? It’s tougher than trying to resist a freshly baked chocolate cake.

And don’t even get me started on the struggle to stick to our Lenten resolutions. We start off strong, ready to take on the world and give up all our vices. But then life happens, and suddenly we’re face to face with a plate of delicious homemade cupcakes. It’s like the universe is testing us, and we’re bound to fail.

But fear not, my friends. Holy Week is not just about eating fish on Fridays or going to church on Easter Sunday. It’s about the struggles and sacrifices we make during the weeks leading up to Easter. It’s about reminding ourselves of what’s essential, the sacrifices made for us, and the knowledge that our sins are paid for. So, as we approach the end of Lent and Holy Week, let’s remember that it’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing our best and recognizing when we fall short. Let’s also remember to be kind to ourselves and others. Whether you gave up chocolate, Instagram, or something else, let’s take a moment to reflect on the past forty days and the sacrifices we’ve made. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always next year’s Lenten season.

By Shaun Sima
Simul Iustus et Peccator. 
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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