Author Archives: chefpocket

Parenting

Unmasking the Extraordinary Life of a Flawed Superhero

Hold on to your capes, folks! It’s time to unveil the incredible life of a single, father of two—your friendly neighborhood superhero, flawed but fabulous.

Sure, I may not have all the answers to my kid’s ever-growing barrage of (sometimes uncomfortable) questions, and my sock-matching skills might rival Picasso’s abstract art, but fear not! With my superhuman ability to survive on minimal sleep and whip up gourmet meals from frozen pizza, I navigate the treacherous terrain of fatherhood with gusto. From transforming mundane chores into epic adventures to wielding bedtime stories that rival Shakespearean dramas, I may not be perfect, but I wear my papa badge with pride and honor.

So, villains, beware because this Papa is here to save the day, one chaotic but love-filled moment at a time!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Social Commentary

The Chintastic Transformation: From Savior to Fashion Fiasco!

In a stunning metamorphosis, face masks have morphed from humanity’s saviors to the latest fad for the “fashionably challenged.” That’s right, folks! Behold the spectacle of masks dangling under chins, redefining fashion faux pas! Who needs proper nose and mouth coverage when you can sport your mask like an ill-fitting necklace? It seems we’ve reached the pinnacle of style evolution, where pandemic safety merges seamlessly with a complete lack of fashion sense. So, brace yourselves as this chin-tastic trend spreads like wildfire, proving that when it comes to masks, the struggle to be fashion-forward is real—albeit laughable!

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Not So Private Thoughts, Uncategorized

Nihil hic deest

What you’ve been through didn’t stop you; it prepared you. That setback didn’t disqualify you; it was necessary to achieve your calling. Quit beating yourself up, thinking that you missed your chance. If only I performed better, didn’t make these mistakes, didn’t have all these shortcomings, that’s a woe-is-me mentality, an I am less than mentality, not a receiving mentality. Voices may whisper that you’re not enough. Know that you are not lacking. You’re a perfect fit. You have exactly what you need to fulfill your assignment. This is your moment.

I know that voices can tell you you’re a stranger to yourself but don’t turn away, accept and praise yourself for being you and accept that you are not lacking. Step into purpose and destiny greater than what you could have dreamed of. Give up fear, insecurity, addiction, and depression, and step up to what you were created to be. Let today be the day that you say I am not lacking, I am worthy, and valuable. I might be a stranger to myself, but I’m coming into joy, peace, strength, and victory.

You can be the one that breaks the cycle of defeat and starts the cycle of courage, favor, and faith. You may not feel qualified but accept that your assignment is more extraordinary than you can imagine. When you acknowledge that you are not lacking; step into your calling, there is a force that will break the yoke around your neck, and doors will open that no person can shut. A power to accomplish dreams that you never thought possible.

This is your time to shine. You are qualified to fulfill your purpose. You are valuable, worthy, you are favored, you are anointed.

Receive it today!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings

Raising cannonball’ers

The side effects of early morning swims, dolphin noises, a newfound love for the scent of chlorine, and a sudden urge to cannonball.

Now comes the moment of truth. You’ve gathered your courage, made sure your brother isn’t chicken and adjusted your swimsuit for maximum “snugness.” (No one wants to be mooned so early in the morning.) All that’s left is to jump off the side and cannonball into the water. Don’t worry about style or technique. Just throw your body into the air and pray for the biggest splash possible. Bonus points if you can create a tidal wave of epic proportions and garner the scowls of those that you just soaked.

Cannonballing brothers is the ultimate test of friendship and bathing suit integrity. With the right swimsuit, some peer pressure, and a willingness to look ridiculous, you too, can achieve cannonball glory. So what are you waiting for Papa? Your turn!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Social Commentary

Rock-Free Zones

In response to the recent spree of rock-related deaths.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/04/21/colorado-woman-killed-rock-thrown-windshield/11711507002/

Coming Soon to a City Near You: “Rock-Free Zones” for the Safety-Conscious. Rock-throwing deaths spark new fear.

Are you tired of living in fear of being hit by a rogue rock while walking down the street? Well, fear no more! The city is introducing “Rock-Free Zones” to keep the safety-conscious at ease. This new initiative comes after a series of rock-throwing deaths around the country.

Air guitaring and shredding are under scrutiny!

Air guitaring and shredding have long been popular among rock fans, but they may soon come under government scrutiny. Officials are concerned that these activities could lead to accidental rock throwing and want to ensure that people do them safely. Don’t worry; the city is developing safe “Rock-Free Zones” where air guitaring and shredding won’t pose a threat. In conclusion, prepare to rock out in safer locations. “Rock-Free Zones” are coming to a city near you, so you can walk the streets without fear of falling victim to accidental rock throwing. And with a little bit of practice, you can rock out responsibly!

For the record. I support the banning of rocks. They are not protected under the Constitution and should be outlawed. A crime that goes back to biblical times and has been the demise of countless victims. Government should act to stop the proliferation of crime.

Furthermore, I do not support rock or any violence of any type. Nor am I making light of any of the deaths caused by the criminals who utilized rocks or other weapons of war (see David and Goliath) for their unintended uses.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Social Commentary

The Emotional Toll Of Not Passing The Salt.

Remember those good old potluck dinners where people came together to share their signature dishes? Those days seem to be long gone. Now, it’s all about a frantic race to the convenience store for some potato chips and boxed wine and then retreating back to your lonely Fortnite world. It’s a sorry state of affairs when the high point of your week is a solo pizza night with your favorite delivery guy.

It’s almost as if we’re witnessing the digital dinner’s hostile takeover, and that spells doom for us all. Why bother cooking a meal and engaging in meaningful conversation when you can just order takeout, eat it alone, and scroll through Instagram instead? Because, you know, why bother with human connection when you have a bottomless well of cat videos and memes at your disposal?

Sitting down to eat with your family used to be a sacred ritual. But now, with convenience taking center stage, family dinners are quickly becoming relics of the past. And honestly, who has the time to chat with loved ones when they have a bunch of Snapchat streaks to maintain?

The demise of the family dinner is a tragedy of epic proportions. So, I challenge you (and your kids) to put down your phone, turn off the TV, and gather around the table with your loved ones. Who knows? You might actually enjoy their company. And if not, at least you’ll have someone to pass the salt to.

Unplug and enjoy dinner with your kids and your family. It’s what life is all about.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

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General Ramblings

The Madness of Marathoners: Confessions of a Lunatic Runner (Demons and the Trots!)

Ah, running. It’s like a torture session with your own mind, except you get to wear fancy shoes and sweat a lot. And let’s not forget that delightful voice inside your head that won’t shut up. “You’re too slow,” it says. “You’re too lazy.” Geez, thanks, brain.

But we runners are a special breed. We keep going, even when our inner voice is telling us we’re insane (which, let’s be honest, we kind of are). Is it the endorphins that keep us going? The sense of accomplishment? Or maybe we’re all just gluttons for punishment.

Being a runner is like playing a mental game of whack-a-mole. Every time you conquer one doubt or fear, another pops up to take its place. But as crazy as it sounds, those inner demons have actually make us better runners. We use them as motivation to prove ourselves wrong and push through the pain.

And let’s remember the nutritional nightmares. Eating too much before a run feels like a food baby is trying to escape your stomach, while not eating enough turns you into a wheezing mess. And don’t even get me started on “runner’s trots.” Let’s just say that mid-run bathroom emergencies are a real crapshoot.

But despite all the mental, physical, and digestive challenges, we keep running. It could be the thrill of breaking a personal record or the satisfaction of running with a group of friends (or it’s just the chance to show off our fancy shoes), or the sanctuary of running alone. Whatever it is, we’ll keep running, no matter how crazy it makes us. Let’s raise our water bottle to the madness, the sweat, the tears, and the countless miles. May we never lose our love for the run (or our sense of humor about all the toilet humor).

By Shaun Sima
Lunatic Runner
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

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Not So Private Thoughts

Holy Week: More than Just an Excuse to Eat Fish on Fridays

Holy cow, it’s that time of year again! Lent is upon us, folks, which means it’s time to give up something we love. But let’s be real, who actually gives up something easy like chocolate or alcohol anymore? It’s time to step up our game and give up something genuinely challenging, like social media. I mean, have you ever tried to go a day without scrolling through your feed? It’s tougher than trying to resist a freshly baked chocolate cake.

And don’t even get me started on the struggle to stick to our Lenten resolutions. We start off strong, ready to take on the world and give up all our vices. But then life happens, and suddenly we’re face to face with a plate of delicious homemade cupcakes. It’s like the universe is testing us, and we’re bound to fail.

But fear not, my friends. Holy Week is not just about eating fish on Fridays or going to church on Easter Sunday. It’s about the struggles and sacrifices we make during the weeks leading up to Easter. It’s about reminding ourselves of what’s essential, the sacrifices made for us, and the knowledge that our sins are paid for. So, as we approach the end of Lent and Holy Week, let’s remember that it’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing our best and recognizing when we fall short. Let’s also remember to be kind to ourselves and others. Whether you gave up chocolate, Instagram, or something else, let’s take a moment to reflect on the past forty days and the sacrifices we’ve made. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always next year’s Lenten season.

By Shaun Sima
Simul Iustus et Peccator. 
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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Social Commentary

Stop Clutching Your Pearls and Start Embracing Artistic Expression

In consideration of:
The board of the Tallahassee Classical School pressured Principal Hope Carrasquilla to resign last week after an image of the David was shown to a sixth-grade art class.
https://www.foxnews.com/media/florida-principal-forced-resign-showing-students-michelangelos-david-statue

If you don’t read any further, at least consider this:
The affliction of political correctness quashes individualism, dismissing it while proclaiming to be for it.
Don’t let the beliefs of the woke dictate society’s progress and reduce our thinking to no more than that of Neanderthals under the guise of “progress.”

If you got this far, keep going, your invested.
It’s 2023, and we’re still dealing with the consequences of our ancestors’ prudishness. Oh, how I long for the good old days when a glimpse of an ankle was enough to make men clutch their pearls! Now, we’ve traded in the ankle for the female nipple, and artistic expression is falling victim to the same tired mentality.

The labeling of art as pornography only perpetuates the idea that nudity is inherently sexual and, therefore, immoral. It’s a belief that is as ridiculous as it is outdated. We’ve come so far as a society in terms of sexual liberation, but we still can’t seem to shake this hang-up born from our puritanical roots.
Instead of censoring the beauty and creativity that can be found in certain forms of art, we should embrace it. It’s time to leave behind these archaic beliefs and move forward as a more progressive society.

When we label art as pornography, we refuse to acknowledge the genius goes into creating it. We deny the artist recognition and reduce their work to nothing more than crude smut. This is a major disservice to the artists and civilization as a whole.

Art, by its very nature, is meant to push the boundaries of what is conventional and acceptable. It’s meant to challenge us and make us think in new and innovative ways. But when we condemn certain forms of art because they involve nudity or sexual content, we stifle creativity and limit our potential for growth as a society.

For centuries, artists have used nudity and sexuality as a tool for commentary and expression. To dismiss it as mere pornography is to ignore the more profound meaning and intention behind the artwork and says more about the person doing the dismissing than it does the art.

So, let us leave behind the labels and embrace the art for what it truly is – an expression of the human experience in all its wonderful, diverse, and sometimes naked forms. #GiveThePrincipalHerJobBack

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/


P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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General Ramblings

The great biltong jerky debate resolved once and for all!

Please stop comparing biltong to jerky! They are two different things. The Voortrekkers, who migrated north into southern Africa, learned from the indigenous people how to preserve meat in the hot, dry climate. Biltong is a type of cured and dried meat, with the name originating from the Afrikaans words for rump and strip. It is air-dried for an extended period of time, rather than being slow-cooked at low temperatures like jerky. Biltong is commonly made from beef, but can also be made from other meats such as kudu antelope, wildebeest, ostrich, and zebra.

One of the main methods used in biltong preservation is soaking the meat in vinegar and spices. Unlike beef jerky, which usually contains a significant amount of sugar, biltong typically contains little to no sugar. Beef jerky is often sliced into strips before being cooked and dried, while biltong is air-dried as a whole piece and then sliced into smaller pieces. Due to the differences in preparation, biltong generally has a softer and fluffier texture compared to the chewier texture of beef jerky. Additionally, beef jerky is often more smoky in flavor, while biltong has a meatier taste. Remember, biltong is air-dried while jerky is cooked with heat.

To summarize. Biltong is not jerky! The preparation methods are radically different, with the resulting flavor and texture could not be more different.

Try biltong, I assure you that you’ll never go back to popcorn – yes, it’s that addictive!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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