General Ramblings, Social Commentary

New year’s resolutions

There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept and praise you for things that the world is prepared to praise.

Hopes for 2023. (Warning it’s a long opinionated read based on my personal experiences.)

From early childhood to Gen Z: Invest heavily in education – Providing high-quality education to all Americans, focusing on early childhood development. A teaching entrance exam similar in difficulty to the bar exam. Passing the exam would result in job security, a higher salary, and a guaranteed pension which would attract more people to the profession. All are deserved benefits and are embarrassingly lacking. (Side rant: Passing an exam should be a requirement to vote. If you don’t know who lives at 1600 Penn or who the VP is, you shouldn’t be voting.)

Speaking of childhood development. Teach young boys that true strength is about vulnerability—understanding what they are feeling, learning to express how they are feeling, and healthy outlets for anger. I can’t comment about girls – Having only boys, I’m not qualified.

For a more immediate change, we must not fail to grasp and address the modern realities of millennials and Gen Z sentiment. In chatting with them, it’s clear to me that they refuse the idea that this country is remarkable in its opportunities and potential. And disturbingly, it’s apparent that they manifest sympathy for the idea of socialism more than they do for capitalism. If we are to craft a new culture that is more in touch with 21st-century realities and opportunities, should we not focus our efforts on the young Americans who will craft that world? 

Fostering a culture of innovation and entrepreneurship: Encouraging creativity, risk-taking, and entrepreneurship can help drive innovation and the American economy forward. Don’t kill your start-ups and scale-ups; instead, listen carefully to their needs and act firmly.

Supporting small businesses: The expansion of government policies hinders economic growth and opportunity. The unchecked proliferation of tax and regulatory requirements is impeding new business formation and expansion nationwide. Even the well-intentioned government-sponsored programs that aim to bolster business formation and economic development are destroying the economic opportunity for our nation’s families. Small businesses are the backbone of the American economy and should be encouraged to succeed.

Smaller Government. Don’t legislate all of our choices.

Energy dominance. Another way to phrase it is “energy interdependence,” achieving this milestone is marked by export-led growth of oil and natural gas. And to bring this home for the typical U.S. household, the bottom line matters, and we have a lower cost of living, not to mention increased security and political benefits. 

Immigration: Provide a more straightforward path to Work visas, Green Cards, and Citizenship for those that meet the criteria to become active participants in the country’s success. Entry into the southern border is uninhibited — which is a far more sensible way to go than making the mistake of trying to immigrate legally, which comes at the cost of copious amounts of red tape, tens of thousands of dollars, and wait periods of a decade or more to become a resident or citizen. As someone who has been through the process, legally, I can unequivocally confirm that the system is broken. 

In closing, we can absolutely do better but only if we remove the yoke of the status quo.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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Social Commentary

Hunting Rudolph

It’s getting out of hand – We are focusing on bubble-wrapping the world when we should be wrapping our feet.

If there is one thing that we can take away from this recent example of the western world gone wild, it is that if a song published in 1964 is genuinely offensive, we as a society are really really really slow to catch on.

50+ years later, we are finally paying attention to the so-called bigoted comments, verbal abuse, and name-calling contained in the lyrics of Rudolph, the red-nose reindeer. It’s hunting season on Rudolph.

Between the outrage for “Rudolph”, “Baby it’s cold outside” and “Charlie Brown’s Christmas,” those outraged are effectively trying to wrap the world in bubble wrap. Let’s scrutinize every prose and phrase to ensure our fragile sensibilities are not offended.

Oh, the irony!

We live in a society where rappers, pop artists and alike are propelled into the stratosphere of fame with lyrics condoning everything from violence to infidelity. They’re idolized but poor Rudolph has a big red target on his head.

If you’re that easily offended, chances are you were mollycoddled as a child by overprotective parents who insisted that you receive a ribbon or trophy for coming in dead last in your kindergarten 50m dash.

Who am I to tell you what to do or think (even though society tends to want to tell me what to do and think)?! I’ll tell you what I tell my young boys.

Find opportunities for joy in the world, not condemnation. Everyone has a right to their opinion, but no one has a right to determine yours for you. Don’t give up control over your thoughts, ideas or emotions, and above all – USE COMMON SENSE!

(A quick tangential detour to rant:

Being human is acknowledging our differences and accepting them, not asking Joe public to subscribe to the opinion that is the average of those that shout the loudest or have the most followers on instagram! If we blindly agree with what everyone else says is “right” then we are giving up our individuality. Please, I beg you with tears in my eyes, show me one example of a truly successful man or woman who was exceptionally good at being average. Don’t follow the pack!)

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts, Social Commentary

Jesus was bullied.

Jesus was bullied, so was David and many others in the bible. Bullying is as old as time and will never be eradicated. There is no vaccine for the afflictions caused by the human condition.

People are social creatures. We all have the desire to fit in and to be liked. It might be an oversimplification, but the cause of bullying and the lack of abuse reporting by the victims stems from a desire to be loved. As social creatures, people search out ways to fit in, which provides the momentum for the bully, and unfortunately, it also leads to abuses going unreported.

As a child, I often stood out. Identifying a target is considerably easier if he/she is not following the crowd. Different gangs of bullies imposed different degrees and methods of torment. Some resorted to physical tactics to illustrate to their gang that they were an alpha male and “worthy” of being part of their click, while others succumb to peer pressure to execute a seemingly never-ending barrage of emotional provocations.

My response to the emotional bullies was never to engage, or at least try not to. It’s easier said than done. Their goal was to provoke a response from me and by not providing them that satisfaction, their immediate interest in me waned. They moved on. At least for the time being.

Physical bullies, of which there were only two during my entire schooling career, were those that laid hands on me in some form or another. It ranged from minor actions, such as tripping me up, to violence. I ignored the small stuff, but unlike the emotional bullies, the lack of response drove the physical bullies to escalate. One day, following a punch in the back that forced me to the floor, I stood up, turned around, and calmly punched the bully in the face, bloodying his nose. That was the last time anyone bullied me. I don’t advocate violence and would like to think that I exhausted every possible remedy before deciding to take that action. Sometimes, you need to shout in a language that your audience understands.

My advice to my sons, one of whom has already experienced some minor bullying, is never to act out of anger. When you give others power over your emotions, you give them authority over your life.

Bullying is never caused by the target of their unwanted attention. It’s never the victims’ fault! It is an overwhelming insecurity that drives bullies, and they overcompensate to fit in. To quench their anxiety, the fear that they won’t be liked and that in turn, will lead to them being ostracized, they act in a manner that they deem to be in alignment with the gang’s wishes.
“Gangs are where cowards go to hide.” Mickey Mantle.

Bullying is a much larger issue than we want to admit to, with nuances and consequences. Sadly, there isn’t a panacea to this problem. It’s ineffective and arrogant to apply adult logic and the experience that comes with time and hindsight to a mindset that doesn’t have that luxury. To attempt to do so is flat out wrong and skirting our responsibilities. This is not an adultescent issue, it’s a societal issue. As a society, as parents, we need to accept some responsibility for what our children do and hold them accountable.
Often both parents work; ipads and tv are acceptable babysitters and forget the quality time spent around the dinner table. Life is busy, complicated, and messy; frankly, we are oblivious to our surroundings. Have you ever driven to the store and wondered how you arrived there? Not remembering the traffic, turns, route? We all have. We put life on autopilot until someday something terrible happens to wake us up, and we do just enough to address the issue so that we can put life back on autopilot.

As a society, we have become more accepting and welcoming of the significant issues, but we are overlooking the small ones. Our children do what they see others do. We need to teach our kids to love each other and themselves. We need to demonstrate acceptance, and responsibility and exercise accountability. Making a difference starts at home and must be continued in class.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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General Ramblings

$5,368,709.12 at the end of thirty days

Like most things, it probably won’t go on in perpetuity, but that’s hardly the point.

The almost 60-year-old Moore’s Law describes a simple engineering principle that has impacted every one of us.The number of transistors that can be put on a chip doubles every two years.

Take a penny doubled every day for thirty days; you’ll have $0.01 on day one, $0.02 on day two, and so on.
While those numbers might seem insignificant initially, look further as you keep accruing 50% interest on the whole investment daily. As you keep doubling that $0.01, you’ll end up with $5,368,709.12 at the end of thirty days.
Or double 2 thirty times, and it increases to more than a billion.

From the day that Moore first described the principle, experts have pointed out that it can’t continue and will reach a point where we’ve exhausted any chance for more progress.

Like most things, it probably won’t go on in perpetuity, but that’s hardly the point.
Instead of predicting that things won’t get better, perhaps we should create conditions where they will.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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General Ramblings

Hard-won in the rain

I’m on vacation and it’s raining.

“If it were cooler outside, I’d be happier.” That’s not much different from, “If my kids would simply listen to me, I wouldn’t be upset.”

Some situations are unfair, and we should work to solve them or walk away. However, we don’t have to link these external forces to the way we talk to ourselves.

“As it turns out, the stories we tell ourselves are important, extremely important.
In one of his Daily Stoic emails (from Sept. 8, 2021), Ryan Holiday emphasized just how important these stories are. They determine what we’re capable of being and who we are. These stories craft and create our character, our outlook on life. They determine if we are content or unhappy. They determine if we are persistent and successful or if we are lazy and a failure. They are powerful enough to change ourselves and, in some cases, to change the world.”
Gregg Borodaty – “Stories we tell ourselves.”

Simply put – The story we tell ourselves belongs to us and only us. It’s my truth, and it belongs to me.
Rosamund Zander teaches us to avoid, “I’m on vacation but it’s raining.” It’s far more powerful and useful to think, “I’m on vacation and it’s raining… what should I do with this moment?”

The bottom line is that it’s a hard-won privilege to be in control of our peace of mind.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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Parenting

Boys to men

My top 15 – What I’m trying to teach my sons. Not in order.

To respect all humans.

To be chivalrous. Open doors and buy flowers.

To cook on a stove, in an oven, and grill. Not the microwave.

To make the bed every morning.

To sell. Life is all about selling, from job interviews to dating.

To control anger. Staying calm is a sign of confidence.

How to figure it out. Things don’t always go according to plan.

To smile.

To change a tire.

To pray.

To read financial statements.

To be kind. Nothing beats kindness.

To master Dale Carnegie.

To effectively communicate. The greatest misconception about communication is that it has been had. (Courtesy of my friend Eddy Tillman)

Enjoying meals with family and friends.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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Private

September 17, 2010

Part of me doesn’t want to write this because I suspect you don’t want honesty. You probably want to hear that I’ve moved on and accepted his death in whatever context acceptance means for you.

No one wants to hear how hard this is. The circumstances and questions surrounding his death and the endlessness of missing him.
It’s been 4384 days, and I’m pretty sure you think that I should be over it by now. But the truth is, I am at the beginning of what will be a lifelong affliction – missing him forever.
4384 days! That’s 4384 “papa, I’m not sleepy” bedtimes and 8768 good morning kisses, because there were always more than one.

I know that most of you can’t imagine this loss because you keep saying, “I can’t imagine.” I keep thinking, “You won’t imagine. You shouldn’t imagine. But maybe, you can imagine my pain, and that’s why you need me to be ok.”
Anyway, it doesn’t matter what you’re capable of imagining. If you look at me and genuinely know me, you don’t have to imagine that nightmares are real. I’m living proof.

My version of acceptance involves carrying my pain – and Aaron’s memory – forward into a much darker existence than you can imagine.

There is a light here – the kind that doesn’t create a shadow. It’s not more than starlight or the slenderest of crescent moons. It’s not much, but it’s enough to fight off the shadow of my grief with the persistent glow of hope.

I want to be clear that I’m not angry at anyone. God, the universe but certainly not you. Your support is undeniable and unwavering; without you, I probably wouldn’t be here.

But I am angry. Sometimes.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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Not So Private Thoughts

Dark matter

Figure out what’s important, then create the conditions for people to talk about it. Sound like a good idea, right? Let’s get started.

A friend I love, and respect said, “I should continue with therapy or some other therapeutic medium.” She said it without malice or ill-intent, but I instinctively took it that way. That got me thinking – why?

People with mental illness and poor moral character get a lot of attention and then, in many cases, shift blame for their shitty behaviors. That’s what people think of when they hear or say the word “therapy.” But there is another side. It’s boring and garners little attention.

It’s people that you’d never expect who struggle with the dark matter. People with good moral character, a job, loyal friends, and seemingly successful in life. It’s them that no one talks about.

It’s human nature to want to be considered normal. Humans will always disapprove of people who do not behave “normally.” It’s that attitude that perpetuates the stigma surrounding mental health. Ironically being a human means being imperfect – and that is normal.

My friend did suggest that I “build on my inner peace,” but not as I took it – suffering from an affliction. Rather do yoga, shoot some zombies at the range or get back into triathlons. She wished me good mental health, which I think is more meaningful and illustrates more caring than wishing me good physical health.

P.S. I signed up for a triathlon today!

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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General Ramblings, Not So Private Thoughts

Stop! Confront your rabid chihuahua.

Dear world.

Welcome to Me 2.0. Don’t be mistaken, this is not a revision, but an entirely new version, years in the making and risen from the ashes.

It took me far too long to realize that the rabid chihuahua nipping at my heals is not angry with me, it’s just mad because it’s a rabid chihuahua! Having empathy does not mean that you agree, it simply means that you acknowledge the emotions of another. I understand why the chihuahua might be angry. It’s a freakin rabid chihuahua!

It was not a mountain in front of me that stopped my progress, but an annoying stone in my shoe. The laws of perseverance, or perhaps my hubris, dictated that I push forward, cursing the stone with every step and at the same time trying so desperately to ignore the stone. But I was wrong. You can’t blame the stone, nor can you be angry with it, if YOU do not stop to take it out of your shoe.

To conquer something, you need to STOP and confront it head-on. You cannot conquer something without confronting it.

By Shaun Sima
https://chef-pocket.com/aboutme/

P.S. I post for my edification as part of my dedication to jumping into the deep end of the internet brand pool. My posts are part raw life journal and part discovery of my voice.

P.P.S There isn’t very much satisfaction in getting the world to accept your viewpoint and praise you. If you only want to hear your opinion, talk to the mirror.

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